Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a broad psychological theory that can be used to help with almost every mental illness or mental problem by teaching a wide variety of therapeutic techniques to the client. This can be as simple as starting with short breathing exercises to as difficult as strengthening our self-esteem, throwing out negative belief systems about ourselves or the world, strengthening communication skills, setting boundaries with others, and most importantly, engaging in self-care.
Cognition refers to the thoughts we have. Behaviour refers to the actions we engage in. Simple, right? Yes and no. In CBT it is believed that our thoughts impact our behaviours and our behaviours re-enforce our thoughts, which re-enforce our behaviours leaving us in negative loops of physical and or emotional pain. In CBT, we believe that by changing our negative thought patterns we can, in time, change our negative behaviours that are getting in our way of living a happy and fulfilled life.
For example, there is a promotion coming up at work that you are highly qualified for; however, you think you are not as smart as some of your co-workers because you are not as outgoing, or you believe you don't do your work perfectly enough to be considered by management. Therefore, you decide not to apply for the promotion so that you can avoid "confirmation" that you are not as smart or qualified enough. You avoid perceived rejection, failure, or embarrassment by forgoing the application process for the promotion. This should make you feel better, but instead, you still feel ashamed for not having applied, you beat yourself up, you judge yourself and these feelings control your inner and outer thoughts about yourself and your environment and keep you unhappy, stressed, resentful, and more. When we start to engage in inner monologues or negative self-talk like, "Hey, it's better to not try than to try and fail and show my co-workers how unqualified I am", we let these negative thoughts control us, thus keeping us unhappy.
When we suffer from past or present trauma, stress, anxiety, sadness, or negative emotions frequently, these negative feelings turn into negative thoughts that we tell ourselves, which eventually become strong pathways in our brains and are linked to "go-to behaviour pathways". As we believe these thoughts to be true, we adjust our actions to try to avoid these thoughts. The behaviours we engage in to avoid our negative feelings and thoughts vary, but can manifest in a multitude of ways including but not limited to anxiety, panic attacks, depression, isolation, self-harm, addiction, submissive behaviour, anger issues, abusive retaliation, low self-esteem, and/or engaging in risky or hurtful behaviour. That's why, in CBT, we focus on our feelings and thoughts, their root formation or cause, their validity or truth, and whether they are helping or harming us. Some negative thoughts were taught to us, while some we have formed on our own, and others may be a result of trauma. Regardless of their root cause, in CBT we link thoughts to behaviours and by learning which thoughts are true or helpful we can slowly start to engage in positive behaviours that are helpful to us. By using CBT tools to rid ourselves of negative self-talk, we start to rewire our brains to think and react differently to what used to be triggering stimuli. If you had realized your thoughts of not being as smart as your co-workers were untrue or flawed thinking, you may have been promoted by now. If you had applied and not been promoted you would be equipped to learn from the event instead of allow that event to reinforce untrue or flawed thinking about oneself.
It may seem simple, but the brain is an incredible organ comprised of complex chemical and electrical networks that control our entire body, many of which took decades to build. The old sayings, "Old habits die hard" or "You can't teach a dog new tricks" are helpful here to explain how difficult it is to change things we have believed for years or are reinforced by others around us such as family, friends, partners, spouses, bosses, and so forth. The brain is a "plastic" organ, meaning it can be molded and changed. While it is much easier to change our thoughts and behaviours when we are younger, it is still possible to rewire the brain well into adulthood. Rewiring the brain in a positive way and hitting the reset button on all the negative things you've internalized over the years is what we achieve in CBT using neuroscientifically-backed techniques and exercises.